I never thought when I first got Mud Pony that I’d worry about being enough. Do I see him enough? Can I get to the barn enough? Is my care enough? Is my tack enough? All these questions, all these comparisons floated through my mind. They still do to this day. Am I enough for him?
The Trap of Comparison
At the barn it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. There are those who can get to the barn and ride or just spend time with their horse(s) every day. There are those who can several times a week, then there are those that can only get there once a week. That’s the camp I fell into. It’s times like these I had to remind myself to take a step back.
I ask myself, is he happy? Is he safe? The answer to these is yes. Would he rather spend his days grazing in the field with his friends than having to do work? Probably. Then he is fine.
What I do is enough.
At the time the barn was 40 min drive (at least with no traffic) from home. 90 min from my work. I did what I could. I got to the barn when I could on the weekends and spent several hours there. It’s too little by some people’s standards. For me though, its enough. It was all I could manage at the time.
Now I look back at those times and see how valuable they were. Now I still worry that I am doing enough. I remind myself that I am doing all I can. Bringing him with me was never an option. He is safe, he is happy, he is loved where he is. I may not be there with him, but I must remind myself that it is enough.